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WORKING AND DEPRESSION

 


MARCH 20, 2023

I'm planning to stop taking medication after the Summer and see how I get on with everything, I'm scared as fuck, as I don't want to go back to the abysm, that's what I call my depression, this last year had been one of the worst years of my life.
 
I haven't been able to keep a job for more than three weeks, I wasn't this bad when I was a teenager, I used to quit those jobs I didn't like but rarely get fired, but since I started this journey I got fired from five jobs in a year, it's a lot, and as I said before I tend to focus on the wrong, so I blamed the pills for it, thankfully my psychiatrist told me that probably the pills were the least of my problems, she was right, of course.
 
But, I still trying to make sense of the fact that when I decided to face my demons I wasn't able to work, at least to keep a job. I've been suffering anxiety my entire life, and somehow I've been able to be functional, not have the best mental health in the World and struggling a lot, but I was able to work, have social interactions, and meet new people, but then depression is another story. It really makes you unable,
 
I lost my filter when I started to take medication, somehow I felt like I needed to get rid of all that wrecked my head, and it doesn't work when you work in hospitality.
 
Now, I'm working as a cook in a hotel, a very stressful job, but I'm quite able to do it, it's the structure that helps me to go through and that's something I've learned during this journey, I can't cope with uncertainty, that's the reason of my anxiety, and what's life about? Uncertainty.
 
You can get yourself ready and try your hardest but sometimes things don't work out, and that has been this last year for me, I tried hard in every job but I ended up getting fired, now I think that I'm alright, but of course, I still being suspicious about how long this is going to last, and that's something I need to learn to live with, not leaving my anxiety to take over my life.
 
Today I had the last visit with the psychiatrist, and she was happy about my progress.
 
I've gone quite far from the first time I saw her, and now I have to continue on my own.


How to Deal With Anxiety at Work 
https://www.verywellmind.com/cope-with-generalized-anxiety-disorder-at-work-4125397

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