Meanfully Blogs

I’m getting bitter and scarier, or what means the same: older.  I’m turning 33 quite too soon. It hit me like a birthday cake in the face. One minute I was the youngest at work, the next  I’m staring down at the fact I could be the father of half of my workmates.  I might be feeling depressed about getting older as it forces me to face that I haven't figured out what I want to do with my life yet. Part of me still feels like that ambitious 19-year-old ready to conquer the world, but the rest? Well, let's just say my resume tells a different story - a string of entry-level jobs that leave me feeling stuck into the loop of anxiety, frustration, overwhelmingness, quitting and starting again. Recently, I decided to hit the pause button on this career treadmill. Anxiety had become a constant companion, and the cycle of "just keep going" wasn't working anymore. Even though I need to take a minute to get my head straight and everyone is saying that’s the best I can do, t...

The idea of a fresh start often holds immense allure. We picture ourselves basking in metaphorical sunshine, leaving behind the troubles that plagued us in our familiar surroundings. But as the saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side." This proverb holds a powerful truth: sometimes, the challenges we face are internal, and no amount of external change can truly solve them. This was the lesson my partner and I learned firsthand during a recent relocation to Spain. We naively believed a change of scenery would magically cure our struggles – my depression and his anxiety. Initially, the sunshine and new environment did have a positive impact. I felt a surge of energy, and socializing and work became easier. However, this honeymoon phase didn't last. Our internal demons, like unwelcome travel companions, decided to join us on this adventure. My partner, stuck in a job that didn't utilize his talents, grew increasingly frustrated. This negativity c...

  Let's be honest, mornings aren't always sunshine and rainbows. Today? Today was a straight-up "hit the snooze button ten times" kind of day. Three measly hours of sleep left me feeling like a zombie with a spinning head. The guilt monster started whispering in my ear as I texted my partner about bailing on work. Thankfully, he was his usual awesomeness and replied by being supportive and understanding. But here's the thing: guilt can be a sneaky little bugger. Even with a supportive partner, I couldn't shake the feeling of letting myself down. "Should I just power through?" I thought. "Is this what everyone else does?" Ugh. Maybe it was the recent burst of that "new job, new beginnings" bubble. Turns out, the reality wasn't quite the picture-perfect dream. Same work drama, just with passive-aggressive sprinkles instead of open hostility. Not exactly a recipe for workplace zen. Then there's the ever-present battle with...