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WEANING OFF MEDICATION

 


APRIL 11, 2023


I'm weaning off my medication, it's a quite short process, to be fair. Just three weeks, of course, I have to keep an eye on how I'm doing, but that's all it takes, based on my public health psychiatrist, I feel like she just told me that because she knows I'd probably go cold turkey.


I’ve been seeing this psychiatrist for the last 6 months, it took me to reach my lowest point, being on the edge of a psychotic episode to be seen by a psychiatrist from the Spanish Medical system, because this is how it works: we visit a GP who prescribes everything and only send you to visit a specialist when you’re really fucked up, it’s not the best system to be fair, especially if you take into consideration that it’s the only Medical cover most of the population can afford. But leaving aside my ranting about the Spanish medical System, which will be discussed in a future blog, here I’m after visiting this psychiatrist for 6 months, I started being sceptical about medication and I ended up being grateful for it and the psychiatric cold shoulder support, but now I have to deal with everything on my own.

But I am still amazed about it, it just takes three weeks to wind off the medication I've been taking for the last 7 months plus all the stuff I took before.

As part of quitting medication, I got rid of the benzos, and I googled the name of them to remember it and make a blog, and I got freaked out when I learned that I was taking an antipsychotic. I really didn't know how bad I was, I can see now that I feel a bit less pressure, and my anxiety is back over the depression. I have to learn to live with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), knowing that I'm easily overwhelmed, BEAUTIFUL.

And somehow, I feel relieved. I mean, now comes the hardest part, living without medication and trying to cope with my condition. I should go to therapy, but my trust and economic issues don't allow me to do so.

I have a bittersweet feeling, I feel happy about being able to go off medication without the fear of having suicidal thoughts, but at the same time, I'm afraid of going back to that mental place again, I feel like I suffer PSTD from my own depression. And it's not only that I was in a bad place that scares me the most, it's how helpless I felt, even though I asked for help several times.

Now that I want to go clean, I need to keep an eye on my demons to keep them in hell.

I know they are there, but as far as I can keep them away from taking over my life, EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. That is my hope so far.

 

How to Wean Off Antidepressants

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/weaning-off-lexapro

 

The Challenge of Going Off Psychiatric Drugs (Laura Delano's story)

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/04/08/the-challenge-of-going-off-psychiatric-drugs

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