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PLOT TWIST: SLEEPING PILLS AND INSOMNIA

 


MARCH 27, 2023
I’ve been having spasms when I go to sleep for the last two years. In the beginning, I thought it was shivers from the cold, we were living in Ireland at the moment in a damp house. But, then we moved to Spain and the spasms didn’t stop, plot twist… It’s anxiety.

How can this be possible? I changed my whole life and still have the same issues. I told my GP about it, and he decided to prescribe me Alprazolam 5 mg as a sleeping pill, it’s the same composition as Xanax, I didn’t know at the time, I learned this the first time I met a psychiatrist and he decided to remove it due to the additive effects. Then, the spams came back, and of course some withdrawal symptoms, the joys of taking Xanax. And of course, lots of overthinking about having to use pills to sleep and the worry about having to rely on them. 

This year has been stressful and my spams have become stronger, now every time that I go to sleep I suffer cramps, but somehow I manage to sleep, well I’m mostly wrecked all day, to be fair. It's not easy going to sleep every night being afraid of suffering pain the minute that you relax.

I know that I’m not doing all those things that keep me grounded because I have no time or energy, my current job is super demanding and my head is not in the right spot, I know that right now I’m doing all I can, and I still feel like it’s not enough, these contradictions are my anxiety taking me over, one minute I feel good about myself and just the precise trigger makes feel like shit, again. 

After trying different ways to get to sleep like listening to relaxing music, and focusing on breathing, there’s just one “technique” that works for me. Let my thoughts run through my mind without offering any resistance but not focusing on them at the same time, this is what some people call meditation, and it’s what works for me, just go with the flow and find a comfortable position, and then I finally can sleep.

I can't recommend to anybody what to do to sleep, of course, there are some basics: silence and darkness. But, after that, everybody has to find what works for them. I still try every night to find out how to leave myself go and relax, the last time I was able to sleep properly was so far that I can't even remember it.

 

Tools and Tricks to Calm Your Anxiety and (Finally) Get Some Sleep

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/tools-and-tricks-to-calm-your-anxiety-and-actually-get-some-sleep


Tips for beating anxiety to get a better night’s sleep

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/tips-for-beating-anxiety-to-get-a-better-nights-sleep#:~:text=Reading%2C%20listening%20to%20music%2C%20or,relaxing%20until%20you%20feel%20sleepy.

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