Was I an addict before I was born?
Well, I'm not a scientist but every family I grew up with that had an addiction of some sort has at least one addict in each generation of the family. my mother, unfortunately, gave birth to 5 of us and each one of us is addicted to something. I won't talk for the rest I will only talk about myself. my addiction is Gambling. My mother's addiction was alcohol.
Are the two related?
As far as I've read there is a link to certain types of addictions being linked but as far as alcoholism and gambling the two are not linked together I have not read everything, but as far as I can see the addictions passed down are usually of substance rather than a gambling addiction.
I'm not sure I believe that but hey. It's the science right they never get things wrong.
Can I blame my mother's fabulous genes for my addiction? or the trauma of growing up with an addict,
I cannot. As far as I have read there is absolutely no link between substance abuse and gambling addiction. The two are not even on the same stratosphere, apparently, gambling is a learnt behaviour and can only be genetic if a parent is also a gambler. This confuses me, as I don't have a parent who is addicted to gambling but I do to alcohol sorry, did she has now passed. Maybe I can blame the trauma I have read anything about that yet.
Can I blame anything or anyone but myself?
So going by my research it is completely my fault and my need for a dopamine rush, it's my need to come away from my reality. Is it a disease I can control? hopefully. Truthfully I would love to blame the world for it and all the horrible shit I've been through, but I can't do that as that means I am not taking accountability for my own actions.
what I'm saying is I'm helpless to my impulses. I'm incapable to say no. How does that vote well for everything else in my life? how can I expect anyone to ever trust me? with anything if that's the attitude I have. I need help with the search for this as I feel like I have lost control of myself and it's crazy how your brain just shuts down at the site of a machine.
I'm super angry at myself for a long list of reasons but one of them is my gambling addiction because I just blow up my life for a chance to win my money back it's fucking stupid.
So in conclusion I still don't fucking know. Great!

Comments
Post a Comment